“You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow, they will be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today. It will be over before you know it.” – Anonymous
Today is my official last day as a working professional. After working at the same place for 16 years, we’ve made the decision that I would take a pause in my career to focus on my most important role, being a mom.
In his short 4.5 months, I have seen just how much Sebastian has changed. It’s wild. I don’t want to miss a thing. I want to be able to see him grow. I want to love on him. I want to soak in as much as I can these moments with him because I know that I won’t get them back.
For years, I struggled with a lot of regret. Regret in not enjoying the present and being so eager for the next best thing. Only to be left wishing I could go back in time and just be happy in that season of life. I think that this life lesson played a big role in my decision to put a pause in my career.
I know that when I look back in a couple years, I will not regret putting Sebastian first. I also know that that time will fly.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I have mixed emotions. While I am happy and super grateful to be able to stay home with baby boy, there is some sadness that comes with this. I started working for the firm right out of college and it’s been a huge part of my life and identity. I worked very hard to get to the position that I was in. I also made a lot of relationships with people across the country that, thanks to virtual working, I could interact with them on a regular basis. Now that I won’t be working, there is a good chance that I won’t speak to many of them. So, in some ways, I feel like I am losing a piece of myself.
But I will be okay. It’s a short term sacrifice that I know will reap a great reward for our family. In the end, it will all be worth it.